Monday, October 15, 2012


Many adoptive families celebrate a day they call "gotcha day."  This is to celebrate the day that a child leaves the orphanage (or wherever) and becomes a part of their new adoptive family.  Other adoptive families feel that this just brings a feeling of "otherness:" to an adopted child and that -- even more importantly -- "adoption day" per se is often a traumatic enough event that celebrating it seems just a

I agree with both points of view.  Really.

See, the thing is that I think that joining a family -- in whatever way -- should be a cause for celebration.  After all, most of us have eaten more than our fill of birthday cake and ice cream, right?  But for my Max, the day of his birth and the day that he joined us are not actually the same.  And if someday he looks back on the day that he left the orphanage with a real sense of ambivalence, well, I can totally understand that.

Which is why I'm glad to be Mormon.

I haven't talked much about my religious beliefs on this blog, largely because (unlike in many cases) they actually had very little to do with the thought process behind our adoption.  My beliefs, however, have everything to do with how my family will continue on.

Most marriage ceremonies end with the words "until death do you part."  Mine doesn't.  I was married in a room surrounded by mirrors to remind me that Jason and I were going to be together for "time and all eternity."

We call it being "sealed" -- this idea that our families are not just part of this life but also part of whatever life comes after it.  And it doesn't apply to just marriage -- it applies to the whole family.  Children born to a couple who have been sealed previously are automatically sealed to them as well.  But for Max and others, this sealing is a separate ceremony.

It's all about creating a family.

Our family started here, in Washington DC on October 3.

Our family grew by one on our nine-year wedding anniversary in the same temple:

Some people just have wedding anniversaries.

But for the rest of eternity we get to have "family days."